Mother of ALL Posts

Ok - I finally found the cord to my camera and downloaded the pictures. These are pictures from the beginning of September. So, sit back, relax and here we go!

These pictures are of Alex dancing.

Here's a video of his dancing. He has quite the moves - and he can multi-task - dance and eat lunch. :)

A couple weekends ago, we took Alex to a local farm for their pumpkin patch. Alex hated most of it except for the hay ride.





This is the only picture we got of him with the pumpkins. He would not let me take any more pictures.


We tried to get him to go to the little pond to look at the fish, but then we got "attacked" by these ducks. They were so cute - but, of course, Alex was scared of them. :)

That night our volunteer fire department had a hayride and chili dinner to raise money for our local children's charity. Alex LOVED it. He had so much fun.

(and I'm sure you can guess that I'm talking in these next pictures - not sure what I was talking about!!)

Family picture soon after we took off.

Guatoberfest!!



What can I say that hasn't already been said? What an amazing weekend. Thanks so much to Julie, Kerry and Megan for all of their hard work.



Alex and I got up on Thursday and made the 12 hour car drive there. He did really good. He took a nap, read his books, listened to his "songs" and watched his "movies."



Then on Friday, we met up with Kerry, Megan and Holly to help get things organized. I was a very bad mommy and pushed Alex a little too much. We didn't get back up to the room until about 3:00. We had to be back downstairs at 5:00 to work registration. Needless to say, Alex didn't want to nap at first. So, he laid on my bed and colored.




So, guess when he did finally fall asleep? 4:20!! Yikes!! I picked him up at 5:00 and carried him downstairs. He sleep on my shoulder for another 30 minutes or so. But, when he woke up he was a BEAR. He didn't want to go into the room with everyone else. So, we were back up in our hotel room before the event even started. I was so upset. It was the one time that everyone was together and I really missed talking to everyone. I know that there were people there that I didn't get a chance to meet.



Here is the devil, I mean, angel baby taking his nap in the big bed.



Here was the amazing view from our hotel room. I should have taken pictures on a nicer day, but I think you get the idea.

Saturday was the aquarium. You will see that this is the only picture I got. Why, you may ask, because Alex FREAKED OUT inside. He was scared of everything. He was shaking so bad, I just couldn't put him through it anymore. All he wanted to do was go back to the hotel. By this time, I was so upset. I actually considered just packing up and heading home. It just didn't seem worth it - for him or me.

As Alex and I were leaving the aquarium - the most amazing thing happened. First, let me back up. Many of you who read my blog also read Julia's blog. You know that her beloved Daddy went to be with Jesus just a few days before Guatoberfest. Her family still came. I was surprised that they did. I think that Julia felt that she had an obligation to us - to Kerry and Megan - and probably to her Daddy. I don't know how she did it.

So, Julia was standing outside of the aquarium letting people know what was going on as they arrived. She saw us and asked me what we were doing. When I told her that we were just heading back, she asked to pray for us. This amazing woman put her hands on Alex and I and prayed for us - for him - and I lost it. Her prayer was so amazing and it made me cry. I was crying for her - for her loss - for her compassion for Alex and I - for the wish that Jay was with me to help - and because I was mad at myself for getting so frustrated.

So, Julia asked me to leave Alex with her. That she would keep him outside so I could go in and enjoy myself and maybe he would be willing to go back in for lunch. How could I let her do this? Someone who I should be helping??? She insisted - and for those of you who have met Julia - you just don't say no to her. :)

So, I went back in and just watched all of these amazing kids and their families. Can I just tell you how wonderful that was??? And, Alex calmed down and Julia got him excited about going in to eat chicken!! We ended up having a great lunch with Kerry, Cameron, Megan and McKenzie.

After a nice nap, Alex and I headed to Barefoot Landing. At first I was a little concerned. I hadn't made arrangements to meet anybody there, so I wasn't sure what would happen.

But, I'm not sure why I was worried. I met up with Alleen, Ferdy, and Gabriella. Alex and Miss G had fun last year together and this year was no different.

You have to go to to Alleen's G'fest post to see the cutest picture of Alex and Miss G.

This cutie is Miss Maya. She and Miss G are just two peas in a pod.

After Barefoot Landing we all just took over the lobby. Oh my there were lots of us and lots of kids. This was so funny. Julia's son Mac had one of those laser pointer things and he was pointing it on the floor and the kids were crawling around trying to chase it.

Here's a self portrait of me with Miss G. Is she not the cutest thing in the whole world?

On Sunday, I had the honor of speaking about COTA and my fostering experience. I think it went ok. I was a little distracted by all the kids running around - and Alex who wanted me to hold him - but I think I did ok. Sunday ended up being a beautiful day, so Alex and I got our suits on and went out to the beach and the pool. He had a great time. We didn't make it to the outlets that afternoon as Alex was napping.

We hung out in the room after the evening send off. The kids got to take a ride on the luggage cart and loved it.

And the beautiful Abby Grace. Oh my gosh - this little peanut is just precious - full of spunk - and I think is going to keep her mama and dada very young. :)

It really was an amazing time. Of course I didn't take as many pictures as I wanted, but it's so hard to do that with a 2 year old by yourself. It was great to meet so many more blogger friends, facebook friends, and a.com friends. It was also great to see people again this year that were at G'fest last year. I especially liked spending time with Holly, Gmom, Gia and Nino.

This weekend, my parents were in the area staying at a local lake. We took Alex out for his first boat ride and he loved it - which is good - since my dad just bought a deck boat!!

It was a beautiful fall day to be out on the lake.

My Secret Blog Pal ROCKS!!!!! Much to my surprise, when Alex and I got back to the room on Friday (at G'fest), I found a huge gift bag full of stuff from my SBP. So, either my SBP was at G'fest, or knew someone who was going. We got tons of clothes for Alex (and mostly pants which is EXACTLY what he needs), some wonderful pampering things for me, and some snacks (which I don't have pictures of since Alex and I hit those during G'fest)

Thank you SBP!!!!!!

A couple more things (if any of you are still reading). Today is Jay's 38th birthday - 38!!! I'm married to an almost 40 year old!!! :)

And the best news yet. This morning we went to give Alex a bath. As I was getting him out of his pjs' he said, "I go potty, mommy." I said, "Do you want to go pee-pee on the potty?" And he said yes!!! (lately he has protested big time) So, I sat him on the potty and he tried to go. He didnt' - but I was just happy that he was trying again. So, I put him in the bathtub. All of the sudden he said, "I have to go poopy, mommy!" So, out of the tub we went, onto the potty, and he peed!!!!!!!!!!!!! I've never been so happy!!! I got excited, Jay got excited, we got him M&Ms, and we called Nanny and Papa. Now, that has been it for today, but I'm seeing some progress.

I hope to be back to regular blogging now - with pictures and everything.

Good News!!!!

I just got some GREAT news.

Sharon just emailed me to let me know that Baby Alex is now a big brother. Gloria gave birth to a healthy baby girl on Wednesday. Mom and baby are both doing well, and the little girl has NO cleft issues!!!

Praise God!!!

Baby Alex Pictures!!!

Since I still can't find my camera cord - and now I'm not even sure where my camera is right now, I thought I'd share some pictures of Baby Alex.

I can't thank Sharon enough for sending these too me. It makes me feel so good to see him and see how well he is doing.

These pictures were sent in September.




And these I just got last week. I think he looks great - and I'm so glad that his mom is continuing to come to Mayan Families to get formula.




I still haven't heard anything about the new baby. I'm sure she wasn't 100% sure when her due date was.

Forever Family Day

Yesterday was our 2nd Forever Family Day. I was going to post last night, but we lost our internet access. :(

I can't believe it's been 2 years - in some ways it seems like just yesterday - and in other ways it seems like a lifetime ago.

Here are some pictures from the day after we brought him home.



I've almost forgotten how small he was!!!

Here's a picture from last year's forever family day!

And I would have pictures to post if I could find the cord for my camera!!! I need to find it as I have a few pictures from Guatoberfest.

We are going to celebrate this year with my parents. They are coming through town for a couple of days and will get her this afternoon.

We Are Off!!

Alex and I leave as early as possible tomorrow to make the 12 hour drive to Myrtle Beach for Guatoberfest.

I'm super excited to see everyone.

So, if you are going - safe travels and look for me at the registration desk.

If you aren't going - be looking for pictures and updates.

Pictures!!

I haven't been able to get any good pictures of Alex lately. And - I've been a bad mom about getting his professional pictures taken. :)

But - we went last week. It was tough. He didn't want to cooperate and only wanted to play. Which would have been perfectly fine as the photographer we go to doesn't do posed shots with little guys. He just wouldn't play where Shelley could get pictures of him.

I thought she probably got a few good shots - but boy was I surprised!!! The pictures turned out GREAT. I'm so happy!!!!

You can see the narrowed down list here:

www.shelleyrassenfossphotography.com

Client Viewing

Session ID: khartz

I've only ordered the Christmas cards so now I have to make the rest of my decisions. Let me know if you have a favorite. I can't decide!!!

Randomness

Have you ever had a friend - someone you were pretty close with - that you stopped talking to. You don't know why - nothing happened - but the phone calls kind of stopped - and the emails. And then, one day, you think about them and want to call them or email them, but you don't know what to say. Talking about your day seems pretty stupid since you haven't talked to them is so long. You could try to get them up to speed on what is going on in your life, but when you do that, it just seems dumb. Jobs, kid, marriage - it doesn't seem very exciting. So, instead, you don't call or email - and then more time goes by - and it just makes it harder.

That's how I feel about my blog. It's been so long since I've written about anything, I'm not sure where to start.

So - I'm going to just start. :)

Alex has been going through what I can only hope is a stage. He has become defiant, bossy, opinionated, crabby, and rageful (is that a word?). I'm trying to figure out if this is just a stage, or if I'm a bad mom.

The worst, for me, was a couple of weeks ago. We went out to eat and Alex was a handful. He was screaming and crying and wouldn't listen at all. I had to take him out of the restaurant a couple of times, and Jay took him out once. (yes, Michelle, I think you know what night I'm talking about) I can't remember the last time I was so embarrassed. The looks I was getting - oh my gosh!!! I literally cried the entire way home that night.

Then I got to thinking - why did this bother me so much? Is it because my friend's 2 year old actually behaves when we go out? Is it because I'm worried that we are over indulging our only child? Is it because of my control issues - and I can't "control" him anymore? Is it because that deep down inside me I worry that he has some adoption related issues that I'm not recognizing?

And - this is VERY hard for me to admit - but I think I have to put it out here. I think I'm not the only one who has had these thoughts - or at least I hope I'm not.

About three weeks ago, I was having a particularly hard day with Alex and for one fleeting moment, I wondered if we did the right thing. Maybe I wasn't cut out to be a mom. I thought about how "easy" our life was before him and I thought for one second that it would be nice to go back there.

And then the guilt - oh the guilt!!! I then started thinking about how much we wanted a child and everything we went through to become parents and I couldn't believe I was thinking this. I really think that as adoptive parents we think that we have to be even more thankful for our children. I don't know if parents think this of their biological children - but that day has been in my mind ever since.

And it doesn't help any that I have been changing my blood pressure medicine for the past month or so and so far we haven't found anything that is working. Because of this, I've had horrible headaches and nausea almost non stop. (I'm not a very patient person when I'm not feeling well)

I haven't taken any pictures of Alex lately - he won't stay still long enough and whenever I get the camera out he wants to see what is on the camera - even though I haven't taken a picture yet.

So, there it is - I'm having major feelings of inadequacy and it sucks.

So, friends, I hope I'm back now. (although Mob Wars on Facebook is becoming my new addiction)

Happy Birthday!

Happy 1st Birthday Alex!!!!

Today is Baby Alex's 1st birthday. I'm so glad he is home with this family on this special day.

Alex - I know that this day may be just like any other for you, but I hope you know that I'm thinking about you today. I miss you and hope I get to see you again. If you aren't already, you will be a big brother very soon. I can't wait to hear if you have a baby sister or baby brother. I have friends who will be visiting in the next couple of months and I can't wait to get a report on how you are doing.

Help Me Here

EDITED:

Ok - I'll come down out of my tree. :) The LA times has removed the article from their website. Here's where they retracted the article.

The original article was in the Canada Globe and Mail. A Message of Hope - or pressure to keep the baby?

The wording in this article isn't as harsh as the LA times article. I'm still concerned about what is said, but I'm not as irrate. :)

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I need to start this out with some disclaimers.

As most of you know, politically speaking, I'm pretty conservative. I'm also staunchly pro-life. I also know that being pro-choice does not make you pro-abortion.

I came across the following article. Please go read it....I'll wait. EDITED: Looks like the link isn't working anymore. I don't know if the LA Times took the story down, or what - I'll see if I can find another reference.

Canadian doctor warns Sarah Palin's decision to have Down baby could reduce abortions

This article made me so mad. This "doctor" made me so mad.

My question is - am I not seeing something? Does this outrage anyone else? Am I just blowing this out of proportion?

I Know....I'm a Bad Blogger

I'm sorry.....I've been such a bad blogger recently...I'm not even sure anyone is reading anymore!!

I think giving Baby Alex back had a bigger effect (again, is it effect or affect, I never get it right) on me then I was willing to admit.

I have been going about my daily life just fine, but every time I would go to blogger to start blogging, I would just turn the computer off.

I've been reading everyone else's blogs - but not even commenting all that much.

I haven't even taken very many pictures of Big Alex in this past month.

So, if any of you are still out there, I hope to be back to my regular blogging soon.

My Trip Part #6

Public Transportation and Visiting Lucinda

The trip back down the mountain was a quite one for me. I was very sad, but also very happy that Alex's family had accepted him back with such open arms.

The greatest part of the trip back was listening to Aleeya and Sharon carry on a conversation. Aleeya would talk to Sharon in Spanish, and Sharon would respond in English!

We went back to Sharon's house. She then had her staff try to get in touch with our two sponsored students; Lucinda - who Jay and I sponsor and Josue who Jay's work sponsors.

They were able to get ahold of Josue's family by phone and ask them to come the next morning. Oto was going to have to go up the mountain to Lucinda's house just to tell them to come back down the mountain the next morning. I had nothing to do, so we decided I'd just go with Oto.

I was then informed that we would be taking public transportation. No problem - I thought it might be kind of fun.

Oto and I set out by foot (up a hill - gosh am I'm out of shape!!) to wait at the "bus stop." There was no way to tell that where we were waiting was a bus stop, but I trusted Oto. (even though we really couldn't converse as his English was very limited and my Spanish is non-existent)

All of a sudden a pick-up truck stops and Oto motions for me to get into the back. So, in a went. As I was trying to haul my big white butt into the back of this little S-10 pick up truck I realized the irony in all of this. I have said over and over and over and over and over and over and over again how Alex will NEVER ride in the back of a pick up truck. I have a friend from high school who lost her brother one day before his college graduation (he had a fiance, was graduating top in his class, had a job lined up - everything) because he jumped in the back of a pickup truck to go to the cafeteria, fell out, and hit his head. And, here I was, doing the exact thing I said that I would NEVER EVER EVER do. :)

Unfortunately, the wheel well that I was attempting to sit on wasn't really big enough for my rear end. So, I was holding on for dear life as we went up the mountain. Remember the stories about the crazy roads - winding around the mountains - yeah - I did that from the back of a pickup truck. :)

The great thing was the weather was perfect, and views were amazing without any obstructions.

I was sitting behind the driver and the window in the back of the cab was open so I could see the passenger, but not the driver. About half way through our trip, Oto informs me that the driver was drinking beer!!! Oh my gosh!!! So, now, I'm careening up the mountain in the back of a pickup truck with a "drunk" driver.

At this point I started to panic just a little bit. And then I thought, "There is no way that God brought me all the way to Guatemala to die on side of the mountain like this." I just couldn't believe that this was going to be the way that I was going to go. So, I decided to just not worry about it and enjoy the ride.

The walk from our drop off point to Lucinda's house was very short. When we got there, extended family was there, but Lucinda and her mother weren't there. The family immediately got their cell phones out and called Lucinda's mother. Before we knew it, they came up the walk.

Lucinda's mother is just this little thing, but she was just so cute!! And Lucinda, bless her heart, was SOOOO shy.

Here are some pictures. (and yes, my hair is extremely flat. I had no hair dryer in Pana and I didn't even have my mousse that morning - although I'm not sure it would have mattered after our trip in the back of the truck!!)

At this point, I was doing pretty good emotionally - until this.

Lucinda's mother brought me three pictures that she had of her daughter - and then insisted that I take them with me. I'm pretty sure that these are the only pictures she has of her daughter. I just about lost it.

Isn't she just too adorable?

We walked outside to take some pictures, and Lucinda started doing a hopscotch type game. The ground was hard packed dirt with some lines in it. I'm not sure if the girls put the lines in to play hopscotch, or if they were already there and they just made it work.

You should have seen the look on their face when I joined in. It was priceless!!

Here I am - Giant, White Woman again!! :)

For the trip back, we actually took one of the public transportation vans. These are 15 passenger vans that travel around the mountains taking people to where they need to go. At one point I counted about 35 people in, or hanging out, of the van. It was a trip, but we got where we needed to go, and as far as I could tell, very cheaply.

I went back to Sharon's place and just hung out. I really wanted to start organizing the donations I brought, but didn't know where to put everything. Sharon was still gone (she had an appointment). When she got back, she let me use her computer and her Skype account to call Jay. That was really nice and it was very nice to actually hear his voice. I also used her computer to check email and blog a little bit.

I eventually made my way back to the apartments to rest a little and get ready for dinner. Patti had all of us (Sharon, the three ladies from Canada and myself) over for dinner. It was WONDERFUL. Again - another night with great food, great wine and great company.

Thursday had been a very hard day physically. Friday was a very hard day emotionally - but what a great day I had!!!

Video Montage

I've been working on a Video Montage of pictures and video from Alex's stay at our house. I think it's finally where I like it. I've posted it on our fostering blog. (link is in the upper left hand corner)

If you haven't seen it yet, I posted giving Alex back to his family last night.