I know that I've joked in the past that Alex is bully. I don't think it's funny anymore.
We went to Kelly and Michelle's last night to watch the Derby. Alex slapped Zach twice and pushed him a couple of times. He doesn't want to share anything. If Zach came close to him he pushed/hit. Does anyone have any suggestions?
I've told him no, but I don't think he understands what I mean. I'm not sure what I can do with him at this age, but I also want to nip this in the bud.
Can anyone help me???? I don't want a bully for a child. :(
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9 comments:
They say time out can start at age 1, And they also say One minute for each year they are..So I think it would be safe to place him somewhere by himself for a minute or so...And tell him sturnly that this is a NO No and you are in timeout..And he will surely get the hang of it that he doesn't want to be there.
Madisyn is now in the "whin and I get what I want stage" so we are nipping it in the bud right now too!
I have heard the same thing...when they are one you can start time outs....Benjamin didn't understand at first and it really ticked him off but they catch on pretty fast that if they still do something when you say 'no' they don't get to keep playing, having fun, etc. I also heard a minute for each year.
Well...maybe I can send Gia to your place for a while and we can let them beat the crap out of each other. My daughter scares 3 year old boys, I guess we are in the same boat:)
Yes time out will work...1 min for every year old...Derek HATES time out but he knows he's in trouble. When the time is over...sqat down to his level and tell him he made a mistake and not to be men. Then make sure to give him a hug and kiss... Derek has been put in time out ALOT... lately..them boys :) I learned it from Super Nanny.... Derek sits at the wall in the wall... if he gets up take him back... but don't sit there and don't laugh he'll think its a game.. Does that help??
I don't know. Dr. T told us that the 1 minute for each year rule only started at age 3. She said that before that, they don't remember why they're in TO. She did tell us that we could try to use a 30 second TO just to try to get the point across, but it totally back-fired with Brayden. He quickly figured out that if he did certain things (like hit the TV), he would get a TO. . . which meant that we WOULD stop doing whatever we are doing, we WOULD pick him up to take him to the TO spot, and we WOULD bend down to his level to tell him that that was not acceptable. In essence, time out does not work at this age for Brayden because he likes too many things about the time out process. We even tried to raise the time to 1.5 - 2 minutes to see if that would help, but he didn't mind. He knew that we were coming back to give him even more attention after the time out. So if we were busy in the kitchen, he would go hit the TV just to get us into the other room -- not exactly what we were looking for! Maybe TO will work for Alex though, I think you've just got to try things until you figure out what works for your kid at each age.
We did (still do) have a problem of Brayden hitting people in the face because he thinks it is funny. We made a rule that "you do not get held if you hit", which means that we put him down when he hits us. That has helped a lot, but some people (aunts, uncles, grandparents) don't always enforce the rule, so he keeps whacking them! Another thing that seems to work for us is that we keep short responses like "no hits", "no throws". . . it seems to help for him to hear the same phrase about 1 million times per day!
Get the book Happiest Toddler on the Block by Dr. Karp. It is excellent and it tells you all about discipline that works for ages 1-3 and how it changes. I think I remember reading that you can put a one year old in time out, but in a safe place like a pack n' play for 1 minute. And, use simple words over and over again like, No, pushing, No, NO, pushing. Alex push. Mommy Sad. No, no, no pushing. Good luck!
Yes, you can start time-outs...but the key is to be CONSISTENT with them. If you start them, the continue them, so he knows and understands that is a form of punishment for his behavior. Every child needs different types of discipline. My son, did NOT like time-outs and they seemed to elevate the situation. Instead, we used a counting system to stop bad behavior and it worked and to this DAY works with him. Sometimes finding what works is trial and error but children ARE old enough at this age to understand when they are doing something that they should not be doing. It just time and patience on your part. Good luck!!!!
Oh - he probably understands, he's playing you!! Yes, you can start timeout!!! Hang in there! My son was not great at sharing either and we had to go through that phase!!!
Thanks for your comments on my blog - I will try and email you sometime soon!
For the 2-year-olds I work with, I suggest putting their hands in time-out. When they hit, I put my hands over theirs and say, "No hitting." Once they are calm (usually just a few seconds) I redirect them. This works with 2's and might work for Alex too...
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