"The Reluctant Dad"

Do any of you get Parents magazine? If so, did you read the article in the June issue called The Reluctant Dad?

This article made me SOOOOOO mad. The teaser says, "I thought of a million reasons why adopting a baby was a bad idea. But as soon as I met my daughter I forgot them all."

I thought - oh yeah - an article about how some people need time to get used to the whole adoption thing. This is a good thing.

Then I read the article

Here are some excerpts:

"It's true I had my doubts (oh, did I have my doubts!!). I was convinced adoption would ruin everything - my career, my lifestyle, my marriage. But the fact is I didn't run off. I didn't get a divorce...."

"A lot of women just don't get why men hesitate before plunging into adoption. Men are realists. We know what's at stake: time, money, career, sleep, and control of the remote. Where are you going to find time for a kid? You don't have any time as it is. and if you had a kid, you wouldn't get to go to the gym anymore. No more spur-of -the-moment movies. No more dinners at your favorite restaurant. You'll be exhausted getting up every two hours to feed a crying baby or change a dirty diaper. Let's face it: You've got other things to do. But with a kid, you'll never be allowed to do them. You think you'll get to watch Meet the Press Sunday mornings when Dora the Explorer is on? Not a chance."

Then he goes on to talk about money, jobs, etc.

Is it just me - or is everything this guy is saying has to do with being a Parent - it has nothing to do with adoption!!! The only thing he said in the ENTIRE article that was true in adoption was this sentence:

"And then there's this to consider: If you're adopting a child, we're talking about someone else's kid, not your own flesh and blood."

This just made me so mad.

He did sort of redeem himself with this end to the article. "The really big lesson I've learned is that adoption doesn't matter. Once you've become a parent, you stop thinking about how the kid came into your life. You're her father. She's your child. Adoption becomes a footnote, an asterisk that can easily be ignored. And ignore it I do."

I'm sure he's a great dad - I just didn't understand the article.

(and maybe I'm just being sensitive!!)

(Thanks to everyone for your thoughts and prayers. I'll write more about the lunch we had yesterday. Jay and his dad are doing ok. It's just hard to tell with them sometimes!! I'm just SO thankful that we have Alex. He has been a really nice distraction for all of us)

Prayers Please

Jay's mom, Linda, passed away Tuesday night. She had been battling ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease) for the past 5 years or so. We know she is in a better place, but we didn't think she would go this quickly.

Jay's parents were just at our house for Alex's birthday party. Linda had gone downhill since the last time we had seen her (Christmas). We're so happy they were able to make the trip for his birthday.

Jay and I packed up Alex and our stuff and headed to Chagrin Falls yesterday. We have some arrangements to take care of today.

I may not be blogging much for the next week. Please keep Jay and his dad in your prayers. Jay was very close to his mom.

Where Has the Time Gone?

I can't believe it's been so long since I've blogged!!! We've been really busy.

I still haven't put up any pictures from Alex's birthday party.

We had a great day. It was a small party, and I'm glad it was. It was much less stressful. We had it up at our church which also made my life easier.

Jay did all of the cooking. We had pulled pork barbeque, mashed potatoes, corn, salad, and fruit salad. We also did personal pizzas for the kids. We let them make their own and then baked them. It was a big hit.

I got some of the Color Wonder stuff so the kids could color, and my friend, Michelle, brought their portable, indoor bouncy thing. The kids LOVED it. Alex was the youngest, we had 2 18 months olds, a 3 year old, an almost 4 year old, a 6 year old and an 8 year old.

We had a pinata and I think the parents all hate me because I bought WAY too much candy. We then did cake, ice cream and presents.

I asked people to bring craft/school supplies instead of presents for Alex. Our adoption agency is doing a mission trip to Guatemala this summer and they are going to be doing Vacation Bible School with some of the kids. They need craft/school supplies, and my friends didn't let me down. I have about 4 large bags full of stuff. I can't wait to deliver it to our agency. Believe me, Alex doesn't need any more stuff!!!!

Here are some pictures from the day.

My Artist

I was going to do a post about Alex's birthday party that was on Saturday. (we had a great time - more later)

Instead, I had to show you what I found on the refrigerator when I got home.

Alex spent the afternoon in the big boy class today (the one year old class) and he made this. Of course I think it's wonderful, and he's obviously a genius. That elephant and gorilla that paints have nothing on my little guy!! :)

So Many Dates

There are so many significant dates in a Guatemalan adoption. You have the day you decide to adopt, the day of your homestudy, the day you are completely paper ready and on the list for a referral, the day you get your referral, the very first time you hold your child, the time you hold your child when he/she is legally yours, your Embassy day, and the day you arrive back in the United States. These are all major milestones.

Today is one of those days.

A year ago today I came back into my office after being in some meetings. I had a missed call and a voice mail from Marie at Mary Kendall. She asked me to call her. My initial thought was, "Great, there must be something wrong with my paperwork." I had just been told the day before that everything was great and that we were on the list for a referral.

I called back and was told the wonderful news that they had a little boy for us. I'll never forget that feeling when I looked at his picture for the first time. I can't say that it was love at first sight. It was more awe and amazement that this was actually working.

I was a mom - I had a son - and four days before Mother's Day.

So, Happy Referral Day!!

Purses Anyone?

I LOVE purses. It is my weakness.

Through this adoption process I've met some really neat people. One person that I met on the a.com forum has a daughter that is one (or two days) younger than Alex. She and her husband are also Ohio State fans, so we've had fun getting to know each other.

Stephanie is a wonderfully creative person, and she has a business where she sells custom designed/made purses. I just ordered one this week and it came today. I LOVE it. (I just may have to order one of each!)

If you like purses, check out SammiBag . Stephanie and her husband have just found out that her daughter's birthmom is having another baby. They are trying to raise money for the second adoption in case they decide to move forward. All proceeds from the sale of the bags are going into the potential adoption fund.

Things Alex is Doing

Here's an update on the things Alex is up to now.

1. He can stand by himself much better. He can actually keep his balance for a good minute before holding on/falling down.

2. He's starting to take steps - no more than 4 at a time - but he's starting to do it. And he's really proud of himself. :)

3. He is really starting to sign. He can wave hi, bye, and blow kisses. He also signs eat, milk, more, and, according to Jay, he signed Dad. (I didn't see it, but he insists he did) He's really starting to be deliberate with his signs. It's so cute.

4. He's really into putting things inside other things. I know that this is a developmental step, but I love it. He really concentrates.

5. He still LOVES his books. He mostly got books for his birthday from my parents, and my brother and sis-in-law. (and also some from friends who came to the open house) He likes his new books, but "Hippos Go Berserk" is still his favorite.

6. He likes to walk up and down our front sidewalk. (with help, of course)

7. We did bubbles for the first time this weekend. He wasn't too sure what to think.

8. He loves to drink water out of his sippy cup. And - I can now use any sippy cup I have in the house, not just the disposable ones. He gets this look on his face like he's a big boy.

9. My friend Michelle bought Alex a Leo doll (from Little Einsteins) and he LOVES this doll - almost as much as his Oso.

I know many of you watched the video of his morphing into a Smurf - but here are some pictures.

Can You Put a One Year Old in Time Out?

I know that I've joked in the past that Alex is bully. I don't think it's funny anymore.

We went to Kelly and Michelle's last night to watch the Derby. Alex slapped Zach twice and pushed him a couple of times. He doesn't want to share anything. If Zach came close to him he pushed/hit. Does anyone have any suggestions?

I've told him no, but I don't think he understands what I mean. I'm not sure what I can do with him at this age, but I also want to nip this in the bud.

Can anyone help me???? I don't want a bully for a child. :(

Our Trip

We had a great trip to my parent's house last weekend. We did end up leaving after work on Wednesday. We drove for a little over an hour before stopping for dinner. Alex slept for the full hour. After dinner, we put Alex in his jammies, and made his bottle. He sat in his seat, took his bottle and then played with his toys and jabbered until 10:00 (his usual bed time is 7:30-8:00!!). Even though it was late - he was perfect. He then slept the entire way to my parents (we arrived about 12:30) and transfered into the crib without waking up.

Thursday and Friday we hung out and went to Sauder Farm and Craft Village. This is a really cool place in my home town that I've been to a thousand times. They are always adding things and improving it, so even though I've been there a lot, it's always a little different. My mom volunteers in the gift shop, so she can get us in for free. They have this new part, Little Pioneers Homestead, that is designed especially for little kids. The main part is Mary Ann's Cabin. Everything is child sized. They can wash, dry, and iron clothes, make a bed, rock a baby to sleep, cook, do puzzles, play with games, etc.

Alex had fun "making soup." We aren't exactly sure that's what he was doing, but that's what we said he was doing. He spent the entire time stirring the spoon in these little cups.

He loved it so much, we ended up buying him a spoon, saucer, cup set. He had a lot of fun as he was the only little one in the cabin.

The other place is called Miller's Barn. There is a fake cow in there that the kids can actually milk. It's pretty cool. Alex wasn't too sure about it!

Then there are chickens where you can collect the eggs. He thought this was pretty fun.....

....but he really wanted to eat the eggs.

We also went and checked out the new train. We'll have to go back sometime so Alex can ride the train.

Alex's First Parade

Many of you know that the Kentucky Derby is run in Louisville the first Saturday in May. (and if you look at your calendar you will see that it's this Saturday) What many people don't know is that there is a whole Festival around the Derby with all kinds of activities.

It officially starts 2 weeks before Derby with Thunder over Louisville. Thunder is an air show and fireworks display (the largest fireworks display in North America). On the Thursday before Derby is the Pegasus Parade.

I've never been to the parade. It's downtown, I'm usually working, and I usually just try to get out of downtown before the parade ends so I don't have to deal with the traffic.

I decided to take Alex this year. We had a GREAT time. Alex LOVED it. He sat through the whole thing (we were there for over 3 hours). He really liked the marching bands and the big balloons (think Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade balloons).

I was a bad mommy and forgot the camera! So, here are some pictures from the past couple weeks.

Happy Birthday Alex

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALEX!!

I can't believe that you are one year old. How is that possible!? I still find it amazing that one year ago today you were being born in a hospital in Guatemala City. Mommy and Daddy didn't even know that you were being born. We were still waiting and hoping that someday we would have a little boy or girl to love.

We love you Alex and we are so glad that God chose you to be in our family. We pray for H. today as I'm sure this will be a hard day for her. We are forever grateful to H. and will keep her in our prayers always.

Alex and His Birthday Cake

We celebrated Alex's birthday over the weekend with my parents. If you saw his professional pictures, you saw that he was pretty dainty with his cake.

Not so this time. :)

What a Weekend

Well - we made it!! We had a great weekend with my folks. I'll post some interesting pictures later. :)

One of the great things about the weekend was getting to meet Bekah, Drew and Benjamin. You can read about their adventure here. Bekah and Drew had just returned from visiting their beautiful daughter. It was so nice to meet them and spend some time getting to know them. Bekah just posted an amazing video of their visit trip. I'm warning you - if you have ever adopted this will make you bawl!!!

Pictures coming - I promise!!!

Our First Big Road Trip

We are leaving tomorrow after work to make the 6 hour trek to my parent's house for a long weekend. Pray that Alex sleeps - and that I continue to feel a little better.

Alex's Pictures - and Sick - AGAIN!!

Well - we've had an interesting weekend.

Alex's picture session on Friday morning went great. He then came home, slept for 4 hours, had a bottle and then decided to give the contents back to me - on my lap (if you know what I mean). He then vomited and had nasty diapers all day Saturday.

Saturday night I started not feeling so well. Sunday was the worst. I literally was making sure Jay knew all of our passwords, was giving him instructions on the type of women he could marry, and assured him that my life insurance was paid up. I really thought I was going to die.

I ended up staying home from work today, but still worked all day. I still have a low grade fever, but I'm starting to feel better. Jay came home from work early today also not feeling well.

Yuck!!! I hope NONE of you get this.

I did go to the photographer today to see Alex's pictures. You can see them by Clicking here The password is khartz. I'm sorry - but he is just the cutest. I'm going to have a really hard time deciding.

What a Week

Alex started running a fever on Saturday night. He had no other symptoms - and it was too high to be his teeth. Sunday wasn't much better.

Jay ended up staying home with him on Monday, and I kept him with me on Tuesday. We went to the doctor, and they didn't find anything wrong with him. We think it was just a viral fever. It broke Tuesday night, and he now seems to be fine.

I spent the day Wednesday in Chicago on business (left the house at 6:30 am and returned at 12:15 am on Thursday!!)

We had our 6 month post-placement meeting today. Alex had just gotten up from a nap, so he wasn't in his usually hamming it up self. :)

I'm taking him to get his first professional pictures taken tomorrow - I hope he's in a good mood!!

Dear Kroger Shopper

(Editor's note: In honor of Michelle I'm attempting my Dear Someone post. Michelle is in Guatemala right now fostering her beautiful daughter Sabrina, and she is one of the best blog writers I've come across. Her posts crack me up!!)

Dear Kroger Shopper,

Your family looks lovely. Your husband and four children seem very nice. I'm impressed that your girls walked next to you holding hands. They seem very polite and I'm sure you love them very much. I'm just wondering what kind of example you are setting when you have a t-shirt on that says

Don't

Smoke

Cheap

Pot

Prayers Please

****UPDATE****

The judges decided to put the court case off until Thursday. There is a person who is acting as the POA for the bmom and he petitioned the courts to push the date back. They didn't totally agree with him, but did give him a couple more days. Hopefully there will be good news on Thursday.


I have a virtual blogger friend who is in Kazakhstan trying to bring her son home. She (and her husband) have had a really tough time. They were about done with the 15 day bonding with a little boy, and his mother came back. That adoption had to be stopped. They were then matched with a new little boy, went to court, and on the day that this little boy was going to be able to stay with her forever, his mother also came back. This is unheard of, and as you can imagine, has been devastating for the family.

There is a special court hearing tomorrow to determine the fate of this little boy. The judge can let the adoption go forward, or she (I believe they have a panel of female judges) can stop the adoption. If the adoption is stopped, this little boy will probably live in an orphanage the rest of his life, as the mom isn't really able to take care of him.

Please pray for this family. Pray that God's will is done in this little boy's life, and especially pray for strength for D. She is pretty worn out, as she has been in country for a very long time without her husband.

My Son - The Bully

Yes, I actually wrote it out.....my son is a bully. Well, he may actually just be 11 months, but I'm thinking he's going to be a bully. From the time we met him we knew that he knew what he wanted. He's always been that way. Lately, he's been bullying other kids. :( I hope it's just an age thing, and he outgrows it.

This video is a good example. This was taken Easter morning in the nursery. Alex is really into opening and closing doors right now. He loves the kitchen play set in the nursery as there are 4 doors to open and close.

Watch what happens when the older kids come over to play. The little boy he pushes is almost 4 years old!!!

Yikes

More Pictures of My Busy Boy!!

Here are some pictures from Alex's fun with our underwear. Some of them are out of focus, but I still love them. (and you will notice that I look really excited in these pictures)

This is Alex hugging his Oso (oso is bear in Spanish - and I think I spelled it right). This is a Build-a-Bear that we made before our visit trip. I recorded my voice in it, and gave it to him on our trip. We told our FM that we wanted it back at pick-up. He LOVES this bear. He gets SOOOO excited when he sees it, and loves to "hug" it. There is no doubt that Clara made a big deal about this bear.

Here is Alex with his Elmo table. I know that many of you have this same table. Alex just adores it. But, are we the only ones that have a table that devours batteries? He doesn't have any other toy that goes through batteries like this does.


Alex will spend 30 minutes taking the top off of this toy chest and then playing with it. He's such a busy little boy!!