Do any of you get Parents magazine? If so, did you read the article in the June issue called The Reluctant Dad?
This article made me SOOOOOO mad. The teaser says, "I thought of a million reasons why adopting a baby was a bad idea. But as soon as I met my daughter I forgot them all."
I thought - oh yeah - an article about how some people need time to get used to the whole adoption thing. This is a good thing.
Then I read the article
Here are some excerpts:
"It's true I had my doubts (oh, did I have my doubts!!). I was convinced adoption would ruin everything - my career, my lifestyle, my marriage. But the fact is I didn't run off. I didn't get a divorce...."
"A lot of women just don't get why men hesitate before plunging into adoption. Men are realists. We know what's at stake: time, money, career, sleep, and control of the remote. Where are you going to find time for a kid? You don't have any time as it is. and if you had a kid, you wouldn't get to go to the gym anymore. No more spur-of -the-moment movies. No more dinners at your favorite restaurant. You'll be exhausted getting up every two hours to feed a crying baby or change a dirty diaper. Let's face it: You've got other things to do. But with a kid, you'll never be allowed to do them. You think you'll get to watch Meet the Press Sunday mornings when Dora the Explorer is on? Not a chance."
Then he goes on to talk about money, jobs, etc.
Is it just me - or is everything this guy is saying has to do with being a Parent - it has nothing to do with adoption!!! The only thing he said in the ENTIRE article that was true in adoption was this sentence:
"And then there's this to consider: If you're adopting a child, we're talking about someone else's kid, not your own flesh and blood."
This just made me so mad.
He did sort of redeem himself with this end to the article. "The really big lesson I've learned is that adoption doesn't matter. Once you've become a parent, you stop thinking about how the kid came into your life. You're her father. She's your child. Adoption becomes a footnote, an asterisk that can easily be ignored. And ignore it I do."
I'm sure he's a great dad - I just didn't understand the article.
(and maybe I'm just being sensitive!!)
(Thanks to everyone for your thoughts and prayers. I'll write more about the lunch we had yesterday. Jay and his dad are doing ok. It's just hard to tell with them sometimes!! I'm just SO thankful that we have Alex. He has been a really nice distraction for all of us)