I prayed for this child and the Lord has granted me what I asked of Him. I Samuel 1:27

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Still Nothing New and Just Some Thoughts

I'm done with my "vacation" and am now in Chicago. I come back home tomorrow. Still no news. Alex is 3 months old today, so he should be going in for his doctor's appointment soon. Hopefully we will get a medical update and new pictures in the next week.

There has been some amazing movement in PGN this week. I think I wrote earlier about a family on the online forum I stalk that has been waiting to bring their son home for 2 years. He got out of PGN yesterday. It's been amazing!!

I think I'm going to try to get the border up this weekend in Alex's room (the consensus has been that it should be Alex's by the way). I may even start refinishing some of the furniture. We bought a used changing table/dresser and glider. I want to refinish the changing table and I want to refinish a bookcase.

I've been finding it really hard to concentrate lately. All I think about is Alex and wonder what he's doing at that time. At the same time - I still don't think it's hit me that I'm a mom. He's still just a picture - just a name. I've been wanting a baby for so long, but it still just doesn't seem real. I have a feeling it will become real when we go down there. Which brings me to my next obsession.

Ok - I have a secret - do you promise not to tell anyone? Ok - you have to promise, or I won't tell you. Alright - I'm scared. I'm really scared. Our foster mom is going to bring Alex to us, and then leave him with us - for like 5 days. We don't know what we are doing!!! I mean, I've babysat for babies - I'm not scared of them (like Jay is) - but when it comes right down to it, I don't think I know what to do!!!! Yikes! I think we'll be alright. I'm planning on making my mom and Michelle promise to be online the entire time we are down there so I can email them questions and they will answer right away. :) (ok - I haven't told mom or Michelle this yet, but they won't have anything else to do that weekend, right?)

Maybe the next time I post I'll have more information.


Anonymous said...

Kim, don't be scared. I know you've probably read everything possible on his development at this point. It will be important to have some of that knowledge for reference but I can tell you from experience, the parental instincts just kicks in. When my ds was born, my parents were amazed when the doctors handed him to me and Michael and we acted like we had held and cared for babies all of our lives. Neither of us has spent any long periods of time with babies alone before our ds was born. You'll do great!!! - Sandra

nikki said...

Hi Kim,
i found your blog on someones link. I just wanted to say that I was just as scared to be left alone with my baby at the hotel. I am a first time mom with not much baby experience and I would be up at night terrified that something would happen to the baby while she was with us. I wanted to see her so bad, but I was so scared almost to the point of wanting to bring my mother-in-law with us. But the moment they put her in my arms, that fear melted away. The first night was a little rough, get lots of sleep before you go, but we made it thru. my husband had even less experience w/ babies than I did and by day 2 he was a pro. I'm so excited for your visit.